Sorry, I don't speak sober.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
