Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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