I want to make a zoo with you.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
