is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
