I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
