does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
