i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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