Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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