I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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