How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
