I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
