So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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