The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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