oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
