Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
