Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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