So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
