Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
