i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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