Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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