so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
