I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I need to align my fucking chakras
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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