Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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