Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
