i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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