Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We named our party play list daddy issues
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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