rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
