He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
