Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
