How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
