guys are not supposed to queef...right?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
