I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
