can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
this hospital has no fireball
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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