she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
