I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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