He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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