in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
