I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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