We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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