I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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