Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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