her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
