I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
