it wasn't lemon gatorade
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
