I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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