Me too!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
