just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
