Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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