We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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