Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
